tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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