How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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