I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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