ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
