Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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