Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
