Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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