I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
