tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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