i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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