Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
