He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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