Me too!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
