R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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