Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
