They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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