oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
