I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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