South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
