you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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