I saw his package. It spoke to me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
