Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
