I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
