so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
