Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
