her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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