She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
