Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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