I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
