she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
