It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
