She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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