I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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