So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
