Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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