I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
