My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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