im about as happy as oj after his trial
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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