my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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