Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
