I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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