I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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