isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
