We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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