we have officially lost it.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
