I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
