Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
