question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
