I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I believe in your delicious
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
