someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just threw up on my dentist
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
