If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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