well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
two words: eviction party
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
