Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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