windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
