The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
