I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
