so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
