dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
