This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm passing your future prison.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
