he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
